Useful
by Yokai-Shadow
Summary: Inside Wanda suffers, because she knows that with this new host, this new life…she is not as needed as she was. Wasn’t that the point of her staying? She had been useful…but now she was a burden. Ian x Wanda The Host, by Stephenie Meyer


**Title:** Useful  
**Disclaimer:** I own the book, but not its concepts. Those belong to Stephenie Meyer.  
**Pairing:** Ian x Wanda (of course)  
**Summary**: Inside Wanda suffers, because she knows that with this new host, this new life…she is not as needed as she was. Wasn't that the point of her staying? She had been useful…but now she was a burden. (Ian x Wanda) The Host, by Stephenie Meyer

**A/N:** I loved this book! I bought it and was definitely NOT disappointed. I really love way Stephenie Meyer balances mystery, action, and romance. Hope you like this new oneshot!

**Useful**

I was sulking. That was obvious to everyone, but no one, not even Melanie, knew why. I tried to be happy when my friends were around, but nothing seemed to work. I was feeling left out.

When I had been transferred to Pet's body, I had woken up with frail limbs and weak self-esteem, which worked against me every chance it had. It's been almost a month, and I could no longer work in the fields with Ian and Jeb. It took minimal force to bruise or scrape this body, and Ian flat out refused to let me continue due to my muscle cramps and calloused hands. Jeb gave me chores in the kitchen, instead.

For awhile it was nice to spend time with Lily and Trudy, who also worked in the kitchen preserving foods and making snacks for the field workers. They were warm and kind, and always included me on their conversations. After four days of working in the kitchen, I began to miss being with Ian and Mel all day.

I set out a tray of rolls, inhaling the aroma appreciatively as a firm hand wrapped around me, pulling me back into a muscular chest. I looked up, blushing, into a pair of sparkling sapphire eyes.

"Ian!"

"Hello, Wanda. Those smell delicious," he said. He leaned down and kissed her cheek sweetly. "Are they for me?"

"Not all of them, Mr. O'Shea." I smiled, but still felt the worry on the edge of my mind. I pushed it away, focusing on Ian's pout, which sent a wave of comfortable warmth over my chest. I giggled, and his charming smile lit his features.

"That's better," he approved. "You're beautiful when you smile." Before I could even blush, his face became serious and concerned. "Are you going to tell me why you've been so down lately?"

"It's nothing," I replied, trying to be casual. I moved away from him to help Lily with the potatoes, and he sighed behind me.

"I wish you'd trust me," he said. I whirled.

"That's not fair, Ian, you know I trust you!" Lily immediately shooed him away, sensing my distress.

"Ian, stop upsetting the poor girl and go wait at the table!" I flashed a grateful glance and she smiled warmly. "Don't worry so much, Wanda. Whatever the problem is, you know he just wants to help. We all do."

"Thanks, Lily." But her words brought no comfort, and I found myself spacing out several times throughout the evening.

"Wanda!" Jamie's joyful voice rang in my ears and I jolted from my reverie. "Wanda, these rolls are great!" He grinned and turned back to Mel and Jared, who both smiled at me. I felt a twinge of sadness that rippled through my chest and ignored them.

"Th-Thanks, Jamie…" I blushed slightly as another wave of warmth flooded through me. Jamie was always looking for ways to get me to blush. He thought it was amusing. After dinner, I retired to Ian's and my room. He followed behind me, still looking concerned, but I cut him off before he could say anything. "Ian, you don't have to worry."

"Wanda, what's going on?" He sat on the bed, turning to face me with a careful look on his face as I fidgeted in front of him. I decided to tell him. He didn't deserve the anguish I was giving him.

"Ian, do you…do you remember the tribunal before I switched bodies?"

"Yes," he said slowly. A look of fear spread across his face and I shook my head, taking his larger hand in both of my smaller ones. "Why, Wanda?" I gave him a fleeting smile; he always said my name to prove that he knew the distinction between Melanie and I.

"It was decided that I had to stay because I was needed," I said softly. "But…I don't think that's true anymore."

"What the hell are you saying?" He grabbed my wrists gently but firmly, pulling me to his chest. I felt his face in the crook of my neck and sighed. "Don't be ridiculous," he ordered.

"You needed me as Melanie," I pointed out. "I was strong, energetic, and…and courageous." I could feel the tears in my eyes and cursed Pet's body. I wouldn't be crying if I was still with Mel. Ian hugged me tighter, but I continued. "I'm not strong anymore. I can only use a shovel for ten minutes before my hands blister up and someone takes the shovel away to do it themselves."

"Wanda…"

"I was just a burden in the fields…" I blinked back more tears. "That's why I'm in the kitchen now, right?"

"No!" He looked angry, and I flinched. His eyes immediately softened. "Wanda, you fool…You're not a burden! We always stopped you from overworking yourself because if we didn't, you'd keep working harder and pushing yourself to your limits. That's who you are. So self-sacrificing…" He ran his hands through my golden hair and smiled. "We don't want to see you hurt, that's all."

"I miss working with you guys," I murmured. "I thought you didn't want me around because I was useless."

He looked at me evenly.

"I don't care what others think at this point. You are not a tool to be used," he said firmly. "You're a human -" He laughed, and I couldn't resist a smile. He corrected himself. "You're a being, too. A beautiful one, and no matter how you see it, you're a part of this family."

"I…" I buried myself into his warm embrace and sighed happily. "I'm an idiot, Ian."

"No," he disagreed. "You were just worried over nothing." He paused. "Melanie was really worried about you, you know. She almost kicked my ass, thinking I did something wrong."

I laughed. That sounded like Mel, alright. He kissed me then, and I reacted quickly. My hands wound themselves into his hair and shirt, while my lips moved rhythmically against his own. He pulled back for air, and I panted against him.

"I don't like being apart from you," I admitted shyly. My blush darkened. "I want to work in the fields again."

"You just want to see me with my shirt off," he said arrogantly. The truth of that statement heated my cheeks and he laughed, loud and happily. "I knew it."

Night settled in the caves, and everyone began heading to their respective rooms. In ours, Ian and I lay curled against one another, completely comfortable under the streaks of silver moonlight. He stroked my hair and I sighed.

"I'm sorry I worried you."

"Next time please tell me what's bothering you," he said. "I love you. I don't want you to be anything but happy."

"It'll be hard to be anything but happy when I'm lying here with you," I responded truthfully. He stared at me affectionately before kissing me chastely on the lips. I pulled away. "I love you, Ian."

"I love you, my Wanda," he replied. He kissed me again.

With Ian surrounding me as both a human pillow and blanket, I drifted into a comfortable doze. That night, I dreamt only of the warm affection that emanated from sparkling sapphire eyes and a content smile.


End file.
